Circus Trees are a band I have followed eagerly since first encountering their powerful and gut-punching sounds four years ago with previous album Delusions. I was taken in as much by the incredible backstory of these three teenage siblings as anything else: united by a love of making music and a penchant for concocting melancholic songs that demonstrated a maturity beyond their years, all spurred on by impressive lengths of support from dedicated loved ones. Naturally, I reviewed Delusions and the trio even enjoyed a stint as our Weekly Featured Artist, pointing a deserved spotlight on the band at the height of a lockdown summer that seemed tonally in keeping with the heavy, wistfully paced tunes they served up.
Fast forward four years, and with only a cover (albeit a thumping good one) of Julien Baker’s “Go Home” to bridge the gap, Circus Trees are back. This makes me sad, and I miss you heralds the band’s return to our ears, and things have changed – not just in the world around them, but the band themselves, most notably with the absence of drummer Giuliana:
‘There were many obstacles through the writing and recording of this album…Starting with our sister and drummer, Giuliana, taking a break from the band to explore other life opportunities, traveling to far-off distances, and getting married. We had been through years together, our lives together really, and missing her in this writing and performing process was really hard, like a piece of the puzzle we could never really find again…Things were different, but we were all growing and learning so much for this album.’
Keeping it in the family, their brother Eoghan has stepped in more than adequately to serve behind the kit with Giuls communicating and collaborating with him on drum styles. While he does an excellent job of slotting into the mix, playing with conviction and skill, the impact of their sibling’s physical absence is felt in the overall mood of TMMSAIMY, wherein undertones of a broader sadness seep out from the record’s more apparent emotions, like fauna between paving slabs: a fragile softness surrounding the hardened weight of the songs within.
*Content warning for photosensitivity*
The record is a considerable step up from Delusions in every sense, which is saying something as that in itself was impressive – the product of minds, hearts, and passion beyond the three sisters’ collectively youthful years. TMMSAIMY, then, boasts a greater confidence and therefore a greater ambition than its predecessor, with almost double the tracks, and running almost an hour in length. The entire project was a methodical, conscious process completed over time, as Fin explains:
‘The decision had been made to record and mix the album ourselves in our own home because of how personal it all felt…we had asked Eoghan to challenge himself and make something we could listen and love and share with everyone. He engineered, recorded, mixed, and produced this album along with Edmee and me, and it was a very special journey between family that made this album what it is. From start to finish this album took just over two years. It was many late nights, it was long and heavy on each of us, it was exhausting. But we made something we couldn’t be more proud of.’
This pride and tireless effort becomes immediately clear, growing only as you move further into the album. Where Circus Trees have continually delivered over the past six years is in the marrying of their emotional investment with the musical execution, and This makes me sad, and I miss you is no exception. It likely stems from the confidence gained in recent years from a steadily growing fanbase and assurance in their craftsmanship as a band. There is far greater use of vocals this time around, whether multi-tracked to provide harmonies or simply replicate the primary melody and amplify its potency.
“More Than You Could Ask For” is our first taste of this, opening proceedings with a gradual build of voice and instrument that ushers us into the band’s current season with more than a sprinkling of charm and a tapestry of lines from each of the other ten songs found on the album. “3 Times” also incorporates this plethora of voices to lend a sublime choral wash to sections of this slow-burning, pensive number that centres around defeat, with Fin acknowledging that it ‘was written in the heat of the moment, before I could process my emotions and it ultimately helped me heal.’
The honing of their craft continues elsewhere, with Fin’s songwriting showing an increased propensity for more intricate patterns and motifs. Her guitar work makes increased and effective use of passing chords and note combinations that can initially feel jarring for those expecting or hoping for a simple remodel of the sonic palette from Delusions. Some elements remain, though, such as the digitised effects and glitches that lend a modernised sense of imperfection to complement the expressiveness of Fin’s lyrics.
Thematically, it’s all here amidst the gazey grunge and wallowing pace. These are songs that lay bare some of Fin’s most affecting life experiences: songs about giving up and no longer wanting to drag others down with you; loneliness to the point of near desperate measure; watching someone you love slowly give up; even the painful realisation of neglect and the wrongness of the behaviour in someone you thought highly of. All difficult subjects to experience, let alone verbalise and put out into the world. But such is the universality of these emotions and experiences, that it lends the music of Circus Trees a comforting, cathartic appeal.
Instrumentally, of course, it’s not just Fin with her lead vocals and six stringed sombreness. Edmee shows demonstrable dedication to ensuring that the bass parts on TMMSAIMY are prominent, playing a formidable role in underpinning the gazey washes of guitar work and controlled drums provided by Eoghan (who also offers snippets of guitar along the way). “Getting Old” accentuates this kit work further, with fluctuating drum patterns that keep you on your toes, ensuring that old is not something this track will be getting, as it ‘crescendos until it falls into an acceptance of moving on, and not repeating the actions of the ones before us.’
Passion and purpose are not something Circus Trees have ever lacked, and TMMSAIMY is no different. Many of the eleven tracks here feel more driven and outwardly expressive than before, with patches of introspective melancholy peppered throughout to heighten the dynamic appeal – something that the band achieve to great effect. Just take the likes of “Alone”, which begins with a firm approach, dialling it down for a brief time before bursting forth again for a cinematic climax. Further in, you have singles “Trap Door” and “Save Yourself” – songs that build onto the layers of the band’s expansive, lingering post-rock influences with a touch more of an emo tinge worked in for good measure.
However, for every display of momentous, mid-tempo energy, there are places where This makes me sad, and I miss you slows things a little to invoke the same wistfulness that these self-proclaimed makers of ‘sad music for sad people‘ have always excelled at. “Negative Feedback” wanders solemnly, eventually blossoming into splashes of distorted luminescence from behind the comforting guidance of the drum kit. This continues before opening fully into a reverberating canvas of layered vocals, accompanied by repeating guitar parts that feel somewhat celestial.
The record’s closing track, “How Strong Can You Last”, is stunning. It’s a percussionless finale that contrasts the sweetly sombre opening, gradually introducing layers of contemplative guitar atop a steady bassline, interspersed with Fin’s mournful vocals. An injection of distortion at its close coincides with a final push from Fin, showcasing her most pained and powerful vocal passage on the record. Across TMMSAIMY, her vocal delivery is excellent, but this final section of the record cements that Circus Trees have entered a new level of musicianship and prowess in their craft.
This makes me sad, and I miss you is an homage to things that have been lost – both permanently as well as those that are temporary but hurt like they’re permanent – and the wisdom gained from hindsight and reflection on said experiences. As Fin puts it, ‘This album touches on the feelings of growing up, accepting our emotions, and dealing with the pain that is brought to us by our lives. It’s angry and sad, and raw, and real…and we welcome you to share the loss and pain that everyone can relate to in some way’. It’s another album of emotional release from Circus Trees, who are older and more empowered than ever before. Some things may have changed, yet the ‘Trees stand taller than ever, weathering the seasons with undeniable strength as they continue to reach upward to even greater heights.
