Rootin’ tootin’ cowboys UNCULTIVATES pull up to your saloon and lay waste to it with sometimes witty, always pissed off hardcore-adjacent livery that could signal future scene stars.
Release date: February 6, 2026 | Horsebox Records | Instagram | Bandcamp
Dr. Eli Gravedigger. Colonel Goon. The Prospector. Boot. When combined you get UNCULTIVATES, a heavy band from Ireland with an odd yet committed country/Wild West American aesthetic. I vaguely say ‘heavy band’ because they are otherwise pretty tough to categorize. They’re punky, hardcorey, post-hardcorey, a little metaly, and definitely noisy. It’s a lot packed into a little, but the categorization matters not when they fit in so well with the European sound far and wide, anything from England’s queercore band Death Goals to Sweden’s legendary Refused.
This of course all works in UNCULTIVATES‘ favor as it just ultimately makes them UNCULTIVATES and not much else. There’s pride in that with me having a non-zero amount of Irish blood in me and, generally speaking, we’re always down to cosign the rambunctious spirit bands from the UK tend to house. This is their debut album too, so we’re really getting in on the ground floor when it comes to support and you might wanna too because, damn, this band could be going places.
This Will Become Clear Later, Like The French Revolution tears itself apart with grievance. No matter the angle, there’s profound grudges seen around every corner, a new enemy to bloody, a new curse to reckon with. Dr. Eli Gravedigger’s vocals are famished for decency, always shrieking to everyone and no one at the same time, but whoever listens is guaranteed an earful. For instrumentation, it’s delightfully varied, but always complementing the savage tone. Songs that could be called fun because of their melodies and higher tempos like “Great Minds Think Of Mike” and “Dread First” still smack you in the mouth with the lyrics. Hell, “Flatley” is a high-concept track about Irish-American tap dance legend Michael Flatley breaking open space-time with his quick feet to go fight his alternate universe self who is a skillful kickboxer. There’s no clear line for UNCULTIVATES and that’s one of their biggest strengths.
If you want it played a bit straighter though, you’ll still relish tracks like “I Am Your God, Your Father And Your Boss” which is a mathed-up coal miner’s plight that is likely a metaphor for something, but I can confidently place it. It could be read as a general treatise of the back-breaking aspects of labor by way of a hardcore track. I’d also point you in the direction of the single “Every Day I Wake Up On The Bonnet Of A Different Car” which harangues against podcaster bros like Joe Rogan (who’s namedropped among the anxious mess) and the enlightened annoying folk their fans become, trying to impress upon you (consensually or not) just how smart they are, like a kid who learned a new word at school and wants to show off to their parents – at least the kid is endearing. No matter what, UNCULTIVATES just feel at war with much of their surroundings, real or imagined, making for a feeling that’s as palpable as it is relatable.
Maybe I’ve been too thematic this whole time – while I think the aesthetic and thematic concepts of UNCULTIVATES are what make them stand out ultimately, that’s not to say the music itself isn’t worthy of praise, quite the opposite in fact. If you want weird, “Dread First” is like if the band hosted a knee-slapping hoedown, the melodies having these tickling teases of down South country affectation. The album’s sole interlude is that same country folk sound straight down the middle as well, making for some calming atmosphere with acoustic guitar and banjo between getting belted by siren-like guitars in “Flatley” and “Oliver”, the latter of which is the slowest non-interlude track by far with more thoughtful riffing and percussion. The bass really shines here as well. Each song really is its own thing; quite distinct offerings which is pretty hard to pull off in this mix of genres where things tend to blend together in the performance.
It goes without saying, even though I’m already 600 words deep in this motherfucker of a review, that UNCULTIVATES deserve your time. If you like a little levity and playfulness to your heavy music, they’re high up on the list of bands you need to peep and an absolutely integral listen for 2026 so far. They’re fun, they’re valued, and they know what the hell they’re doing. Years from now, we could see them in their own The Callous Daoboys situation enjoying breakthrough fame making good on the prophetic implications of this album’s title, or maybe they’ll persist as underground darlings. Either way, I wanna be first in line – This Will Become Clear Later, Like The French Revolution is a bafflingly consistent and impressive swing at whatever this is.
Band photo by Conor Bradley
