if you were here i’d be home by now is the debut album by Vancouver shoegaze band SMUSH. The record opens softly with a gently picked indie rock melody accompanied by an equally soft and inviting voice. This lasts for about a minute before a shriek of feedback and thrashing guitars decimate the short lived peace. In an instant the soundscape SMUSH invokes becomes fully realized. I love the way the vocals don’t increase in intensity as the instrumentation absolutely does. It’s almost like being guided forward by a soft hand into a hazy netherworld. The angelic voice becomes a lifeline as we are plunged beneath wave after wave of fuzz. The lyrics of the opening track “if we didn’t cry” are some of the most heartbreaking of the album and set the tone early. ‘As tears fill up my eyes / it would be sadder / if we didn’t cry / each time we say goodbye.’ if you were here carries as heavy an emotional weight as it does musically.
SMUSH marries the hard hitting distortion of grunge with the ethereal haze of dream pop. There are sections where the instrumentation is a relentless lead pipe bashed against the head, but the gorgeous vocals sweetly conjure flowery imagery. The combination is potent and impactful. This take on shoegaze is a warm hug of suffocation. Drowning underneath a wall of pure enveloping sound. It feels heavy not just in the rock sense, but like there is an actual physical weight being pressed down onto your chest. Toward the end of “sweetheart” the one place on the record where those sweet vocals finally break under all that weight there’s actually a harsh shriek. It’s equal parts haunting and devastating yet beautiful.
There are plenty of contrasting moments on if you were here notably on “fivefivefive”, “bedtime_spirits”, the midsection of “lizzy mcguire” and the pair of noisy interlude tracks “zboy” and “gates ave”. SMUSH pulls off some magical trickery with all these various sound dynamics. “loafofyarn” starts with a wandering guitar line then halfway through the track just explodes. Snapping out of its somber meanderings into a captivating rush backed by an alluring siren call. But perhaps none of these pivots are quite as stark and dramatic as the first one. When the opening track “if we didn’t cry” is broken in half by a thunderous cacophony of cymbals eating guitars. SMUSH is very comfortable experimenting in a nod to Sonic Youth and their art rock influence. if you were here explores freely without ever getting too lost in the woods. There’s always a driving melody or lyrical hook to pull you back in.
While SMUSH is clearly paying homage to a classic sound their approach differs in at least one key aspect. You can very easily understand and connect directly to the powerful lyrics. The old guard of shoegaze royalty acts like My Bloody Valentine, Ride, and Slowdive often obfuscate or bury their vocals. Loveless is famously overdriven and fuzzed out to the point of sometimes being completely unintelligible. Ride and Slowdive offer a bit more verbiage to latch onto. But both are prone to oohs and ahhs that devolve into choir vocalizations. Don’t get me wrong it’s beautiful, but it’s not always words. There is naturally an intellectual disconnect, likely by design, instead putting the emphasis on more abstract feelings. SMUSH on the other hand employs a largely crystal clear vocal delivery you can readily identify with. Vocalist and bassist Emily Borrowman is reminiscent of artists as varied as Beach House, Cat Power, and CHVRCHES with an otherworldly quality all her own.
‘When you see my dreams / could you tell me what they mean?’ implores Emily on “goodnight moon”. Sandwiched between two interlude tracks “horse drawing” stands out surrounded by noise delivering the motivational ‘You are bigger than your cage.’ On “sweetheart” there’s a haunting refrain that can be read as a lament of climate change, ‘Summer’s hotter now / sleep while others drown.’ And of course on the emblematic single and opening track “if we didn’t cry”. All of these lines are as sharp and piercing as the jabs of feedback throughout the record.
I love feedback and distortion. To me Merzbow and Bastard Noise are easy listening. I put on Metal Machine Music at bedtime. I think Jimi Hendrix is criminally underrated. The ways SMUSH utilizes harsh sonic elements on if you were here is nothing short of astounding. The album was engineered and mixed by Jordan Koop at his studio the Noise Floor in British Columbia. Jordan is somewhat of a local legend. He’s had a hand in recording, mixing, mastering, or producing over 350 albums by bands mostly in the Pacific Northwest. He even spent a week under the tutelage of Steve Albini in a program called Mix with the Masters. Jordan’s hand on this album in particular contributes toward SMUSH capturing their sound with flawless clarity.
The album is permeated by little slices of ambient noise, found sounds, and conversation. Such as the bird chirps on “zboy”, the breezy flute section midway through “lizzy mcguire”, and the Notting Hill clip at the end of “loafofyarn”. This gives the whole album an analog lived-in and breathing quality to it. Anchored in real spaces with real people living their lives. I love the way the closing track “new house” fades out into laughing voices. After one of the heaviest moments of the entire album a stripped down guitar melody plays out with candid murmurs in the background. Then with a final buzz and wobble as of the guitar being unplugged the mic drops and the record ends.
The kids are rediscovering Nirvana and My Bloody Valentine. SMUSH is playing in similar lush landscapes that overlap with the giants of old while pulling in a youthful indie rock energy all their own. if you were here i’d be home by now manages to be both eclectic and novel. In a world overrun by bands simply imitating or chasing trends this is no easy feat. But it gives SMUSH an intense honesty earned by putting in the work to stand out.
Stream if you were here i’d be home by now on Bandcamp where you can also pickup a tape from the band.
Vinyl pre-orders are available through Zegema Beach Records.
album of the year