Hang the fuck on you fucking fucks. The Fuckening is here, and Severed fucking Headshop are here to fuck your fucking shit the fuck up.

Release date: August 5, 2022 | Everlasting Spew Records | Facebook | Instagram | Bandcamp

What more can you say about this fucking band? Cool, irreverent name? Check. Fucking awesome EP title? Check. Sounds rad as fuck, but also brutal as fuck? Checkity check. Severed Headshop embody all the silliness a death metal band needs to survive in this shit show, and backs it up with sheer brutality that just knocks you flat on your ass.

The moment you push play on “Statutory Fate”, you should be well aware of what is about to happen. Starting with some English peasant’s cry about the beginning of The Fuckening, it shifts to a very well-known pirate ‘oooooooh‘, then some dude yelling ‘SHIIIIIIIIIIIT‘ before you’re fucking slapped with some gnarly-ass noodling breakdown to just kick your shit in. What a fucking blast!

The track itself is fucking rad. Severed Headshop seem well versed in their inspirations blending death metal growls, tinges of grind blast beats, a disgusting deathcore breakdown midway through, and some frantic black metal-esque shifts on the back end with seamless transition. I swear to fuck they’re trying to emulate the SpongeBob theme song, but I can’t fucking be for certain, so it’s just a fucking conspiracy theory. They never lose steam, and before Joe Jacobs fucking growls ‘fuck yourself‘, you’re either locked in grinning ear to ear, or have moved the fuck on to softer soundscapes. Either one is fine, but I’m here for the fuckening, so I’m cracking open another, and diving the fuck in.

Elsewhere, “Self Gorification” fucking pounds like a relentless fucking hammer with some grudgey and thrashy shifts mixed in, “Soul Excavation” slows shit down like a buzz saw, and before it sounds like they’re going to shred like its 1992, there is another shift and we’re in full-on fucking grind territory. “Eternal Soul Penetration” sounds like something that would land these dudes in the good graces of our fallen Papa Trev (REST IN POWER), and I’m almost certain we’d find them covered in The Obituarist at one point or another.

Speaking of the fucking magnificent The Black Dahlia Murder, the closing track, “…And The Night Was Dark As Fuck”, I’m almost certain is inspired by – and a tribute to – TBDM. It’s also a strong-as-fuck finish for The Fuckening. As always, these degenerates draw inspiration from various places and mix it into some sort of icky radioactive goo that attracts the right crowd. The black-metal-then-death-metal-then-black-metal formula is executed seamlessly, and should earn them a decent amount of re-listens.

On top of that, the last 30 seconds alone show how serious our Severed Headshop take themselves. After brutalizing us with a relentless and rapid mix of various extreme metals, the EP ends like it started – with a weird-as-fuck and goofy outro – except this time it sounds like a warped record from an old carnival. I guess that’s to signal that The Fuckening is over, and while that saddens me, I can’t wait to hear more out of these fucks.

The five-song 20 minutes runs at a breakneck pace as these fucks throw everything they got at the listener, all the while never dropping their goofy lovable vibe. Anyone who listens to shit like this is going to be impressed, and I’m looking forward to hearing what a full-length sounds like from these guys as long they keep up this fucking nonsense.



"I'm the Osiris of this shit" -Russel Tyrone Jones

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